I (22m) used to think sex was super underwhelming and people were exaggerating about how great it was. I just had sex with my best friend (24m). Turns out, sex is awesome, I'm just gay.

I had sex for the first time in high school. I was 16 and all of my friends were doing it, so I hooked up with this girl at a party. It was alright, but it was a little gross and kinda wet, and I wasn't really into boobs like my friends were. I got off just fine, but it was just fine, not mind-blowing. I had sex again a few times after that, but not as consistently as other people I knew, and my friends thought I was weird for not liking sex. I grew older just believing that sex wasn't my thing, and that it somehow made me weird. I wasn't constantly trying to hook up with girls, I wasn't interested in strip clubs, I would almost exclusively have sex when I was drunk (just because I'm a horny drunk). I was fine with this fact. I was cool with not having sex and being a crazy horny maniac like most of the guys I knew. I only recently began to question my sexuality after having an undisclosed sex dream about an infamously attractive older male celebrity (explained in a previous post). Being the idiot I am, I had never even thought about possibly being gay before because yeah, I've had sex with women, so I'm not gay, right? Wrong. Anyway, it rocked me to my core a little more than it probably should have and I began to question my sexual orientation. I only know a few other queer men, but I was lucky to at least know a few. I turned to one of my best friends (let's call him Austin), who happens to be an openly bisexual man with a strong preference for men. Austin basically laughed and told me that I was probably gay, but was very gentle and understanding about it as well. His advice was to basically, I quote, "go out and get fucked." Shockingly, I know, I was hesitant. I explained my reservations about the idea: many things along the lines of "I don't want my first time to be a stranger," "I don't want to be awkward," "I don't want to get hurt trying to experiment with someone who is unfamiliar with ass-virgins," etcetera. Austin came up with the brilliant idea to be my first, which I actually thought was a good plan. One, I knew it wouldn't fuck up our friendship because we were helping each other out. And two, he knows me and would know what to do if it did come to, y'know, taking my buttginity. A few days later, I was at Austin's house playing Mario Kart, as adult men do. I decided to initiate something because I knew he wouldn't, so I told him I wanted to figure stuff out and then I kissed him. It was my first time kissing a man, ever, but I immediately knew that I was definitely gay. It felt like something completely new, and it made my brain a little fuzzy. Now, I won't go into the details, but one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. It was insurmountably more pleasant than sex with a woman in my not-so-vast experience. Austin definitely got the job done and I hit a record time, if you catch my drift. I told him afterward that I was definitely gay and before I even realized what I was doing, I kissed him again, this time without any sexual intention. I fell asleep with him, like an idiot, despite us originally agreeing that there were not to be strings attached. So, I unintentionally attached strings, I think. This happened yesterday. Incredibly recently. As in, I am writing this in his bathroom right now. I haven't seen him today and I am slightly afraid to face him because I don't know what he thinks about last night or if he believes I was trying to initiate something romantic. Hell, even I don't know if I was trying to initiate something romantic. I think I will take a shower and see him once I calm down. There may be a follow-up post if anything noteworthy occurs. TL;DR, I just had sex with my best friend, found out I was gay, and am about to face him for the first time since last night.